Shattered Pieces (Heathens Ink Book 4) by K.M. Neuhold

Author:K.M. Neuhold [Neuhold, K.M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-10-30T16:00:00+00:00

After spending the day with Beck, the confusion I was feeling when I woke up this morning has intensified tenfold. My mind is buzzing with every reason to let myself keep fooling around with Beck, as well as every contradiction.

“Do you want to come up?” Beck asks with a flirty smile.

My heart leaps with want, meanwhile my mind is racing.

“Do you mind if I take a raincheck?”

Beck’s face falls, but he recovers quickly with a kiss to my cheek.

“No problem, sweetie. We’re still on for next weekend, right?”

“Of course,” I agree.

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later then. Have a good night.”

“Night.”

After I leave Beck, I decide to head over to O’Malley’s, desperately hoping that at least one of the guys is around and willing to help me sort out all this confusion. Hopefully not Royal because he’ll have an absolute field day with this.

When I step into the bar, I don’t see any of my friends, until I notice Cas sitting at the bar with a somewhat sad and wistful expression as he watches Beau flirt and laugh with another customer.

“Mind if I sit here?”

Cas looks over and gives me a friendly smile.

“Of course, have a seat.” He assesses me with his penetrative gaze. “You look like you could use someone to talk to. I’m a good listener.”

I take a deep breath as I try to decide where to start.

“Do you know about Johnny?” I ask and Cas shakes his head. “Johnny was Adam’s little brother. I loved him so fucking much.” My voice cracks.

I can’t believe I’m saying these things to someone I hardly know, but before I can question it, the words tumble from me. I tell Cas all about Johnny and then about Beck. He listens thoughtfully, sipping his beer and nodding sympathetically.

When I finish, I accept a beer from Beau and take a long drink. Having spilled all the details, I feel less burdened, even if I still don’t know what I want.

“You think letting yourself be with Beck is a betrayal of Johnny’s memory?”

“Yes,” I rasp, my hands trembling slightly as I absentmindedly use my finger to gather condensation from the bottle of beer in my hands. “I’m not saying I love Beck, but what if one day I did? Does that mean I didn’t love Johnny? Or what if Beck falls in love with me, and I hurt him because I can’t love him back.”

“It’s possible to love more than one person,” Cas points out. “I know that from experience.”

“Does it feel the same? Did you love both men the same?”

“Not exactly. It’s the same thrilling, warm need to touch and kiss. It’s the same desperate obsession with making him happy. But it doesn’t feel exactly the same. How can it when the men are different, and I’m so different too?”

“What if I lead him on? What if I can’t feel anything more than lust and friendship?”

Cas gives me a sad smile. “Don’t you deserve a chance to find out? Maybe try living in the moment for a change and see what life has to give you.

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